Common Struggles when starting to co-regulate with your Horse

Mar 06, 2023
Melissa sitting mediating with her horse in front of her

Hello Friends! 

Today we are going to discuss the common struggles that one may have when beginning to co-regulate with there equines. Please know the struggle is real and one that will pop its head into even the most calm among us. 

When these struggles occur, please remember the intention of your practice:

1) To improve the resting position of your Nervous System

2) Enhance the connection with your Equines!

Please notice that these intentions do not include anything to do with you judging your progress in the area. This is a journey you have decided to embark upon and please meet it with the curiosity of a child. It is meant to bring you peace, not stress

Now that we have cleared that negative energy out of the way, Let's see what we can do to help. 

Here are some of the most common questions I am asked.

1) When is the best time to try co-regulating with my equine?

This is the number one question I am asked about. And the true answer is it depends! It depends on you and your horse. When you are first starting out, the best time is one where you are both fed, in a non-reactive state and you are not pressed for time. By having a fed equine, you are already bringing down the excitement level that may be brought on around grain time! Also, you want to pick a time when neither of you are in a high arousal state. Co-regulating can be really helpful in those moments, however not when you are first beginning. Remember we want to enhance the peace, not the stress!! 

2) Can I do this while they eat?

Absolutely!  Since they are constantly grazing, you can start introducing this activity while they are eating. I would just stay away from grain times. 

3) Is it better to have them on a lead rope or in cross-ties? 

As tempting as it may be to keep you equine in one spot, I don't recommend it. The research article that coupled the changes in heart rates of humans and horses, noted that the greatest impact occurred when the horse and humans were given the choice to connect. When we place the horses on cross-ties, we take away their choice.  

4) What if the equine keeps walking away?

This takes some additional thought and insight. If you felt an energy break or disconnect prior to the walk away, then I would graciously thank them for their time and call it the end of the session. If you do not feel the energy disrupt, once they become settled near by, I will attempt my approach again. However, I would not recommend anyone following their equine around attempting to partner. This may have the opposite effect that you would be hoping for.

5) How will I know it is working?

You will know. Slowly over time you will find yourself noticing moments of increased calm instead of reaction. It will be those moments where you will smile to yourself, knowing that your practice has been working. 

I hope this helps you as you continue on your journey of reconnecting with yourself while also improving the relationship with your equine partners.

Wishing you so much Peace in the Paddock! 

Melissa Jean

 

Need the download to start co-regulating? 

Incase you missed it! Here is the link for the free PDF to get you started with co-regulating with your equines. 

Free PDF